


If You Need This

by Rhialoviction



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Dubious Consent, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Kiss, First Time, Gen, Hurt Dean, Hurt Dean Winchester, Hurt Sam, Hurt Sam Winchester, Hurt/Comfort, In a way, Kissing, M/M, Mildly Dubious Consent, Misunderstanding, One-Sided Attraction, Oneshot, but actually no-sided attraction, dubcon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-21
Updated: 2017-03-26
Packaged: 2018-09-01 07:04:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8614315
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rhialoviction/pseuds/Rhialoviction
Summary: Sam and Dean end up crossing the brotherly line, each thinking that’s what the other wanted…





	1. The Beginning

It couldn’t be that.

 

Sam was holding his brother’s face in his hands, thumb wiping away the blood, simply relieved his brother had survived.  There it was again.  He knew it couldn’t really be what he thought he saw.

 

The glint in Dean’s eye.  Slightly swollen shut and tear-filled from the pain, but there it was.

 

 “Sam,”

 

The younger brother felt his breath hitch at the implied question.  The tilt of Dean’s head, the half-smile.  God he was probably concussed and confused.  It nearly killed Sam again to realize that if Dean was of sound mind he would never let something like this slip through.  Would never let Sam know.  But then again, they had almost lost each other just now.  For good, this time, no resurrections, all nine-lives used up.

 

And then, it didn’t seem so far-fetched anymore.

 

And then Sam captured his brother’s next words, leaning in to cross the line.

 

* * *

 

The fog slowly started to clear away.

 

At first Dean was simply relieved to see Sam was still alive, so happy his brother was there he almost couldn’t feel the pain coursing through his entire system.  He didn’t even care Sam was practically caressing his face.

 

Then he saw the hazel tinged concern.  Sam was worried.

 

“Sam?” Dean managed in a raspy voice.

 

He wanted to ask what was wrong.  Was he worse off than he thought?  Was Sam hurt too?  He nearly laughed at the intensity of the fears suddenly flooding through his mind.  God, he had just saved his brother, couldn’t they ever catch a break?  Shit, Sam was nearly hyperventilating.

 

And then nothing made sense anymore.

 

And then he was kissing Sam back.

 

* * *

 

Once his mind made it through the blackout of _ohmygodSam'skissingme_ , he understood that this was what Sam needed.  He would let Sam have this now and process what it meant later, come to terms with that fact that Sam had probably always been hiding this desire, for who knows how many years.  Right now, he would give into this.  Because while he was still here, he would offer Sam any comfort he could provide.

 

* * *

 

It didn’t matter that he didn’t feel the same.  Wasn’t attracted to Dean in that way.  He was here, and Dean was still here, and he understood now, so Dean didn’t have to pretend anymore.

 

Sam opened his mouth slightly, an invitation.  Dean hesitated, unsure whether they should be breathing the same air.  But Sam was desperate to show his brother this was okay, show him that he didn’t mind.  He surged forward, deepening their kiss. 

 

Dean moaned, nearly losing his balance as the pain swelled.  He ignored the discomfort though, trying to put as much focus as he could into making his performance believable.  He couldn’t bear the thought of Sam finding out it wasn’t real for him.  That didn’t matter though.  He could learn to like this.

 

They could be this to each other.  For each other.  If it’s what the other needed…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm thinking about writing a flash-forward to this, to see how the boys are doing years into their relationship when they finally find out the truth about how each other felt in the beginning.
> 
> Let me know what you think :)


	2. The Beginning of the End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Several years down the road the boys learn an unwelcome truth about the origins of their relationship.

Dean emerged from the steaming shower, wrapped the towel around his waist, and opened the door to the rest of the motel room. He froze on the threshold.

There was Sam on the bed, his too beautiful younger brother, laying fully clothed on his side as he typed, gazing intently at the laptop, and unaware he was no longer alone. Dean’s breath faltered. The rays of light streaming through the window caught the strands of hair that were hanging in front of Sam’s face at just the perfect angle. His little brother was illuminated, every perfect feature highlighted by glowing lines.

Dean ripped off his towel and tossed the damp cloth onto Sam.

“Hey! Watch it!”

Sam cradled his laptop and threw the towel to the ground.

“I am,” Dean growled.

Sam risked a glance, looking up through his disheveled bangs, the luminescence following his every move.

Dean was ravenous.

“Dude, not right now. I’m in the middle of researching the nex-”

Dean grabbed Sam’s ankles and pulled his brother down the bed. Sam flailed to avoid his laptop.

“Careful!”

Dean folded the laptop carefully and set it down gently on the table. He turned his head to look over his shoulder at Sam, who was just waiting for Dean's next move with pupils blown.

Sam shivered a little when his brother stepped to the foot of the bed. Dean tiger crawled his way up Sam’s body, making sure to nuzzle the sensitive spots along the way. When he finally leveled with Sam’s eyes the younger hunter surged upwards, seeking out Dean’s lips.

Dean indulged for just a moment before pulling away.

“Tease,” Sam whined.

Dean rolled his bare hips down against Sam’s hardening length.

“Patience.” Dean continued grinding against his little brother. “I was the best tease you’d ever had. Wouldn’t let you take the bait for over a decade, but I bet I was worth the wait. You’ve had enough practice; I think you can wait a few more minutes.”

Sam scoffed. “Not fair. You’re the one seducing me.”

“This time.” Dean ghosted his lips over his wanton brother.

“This time? More like every time,”

Dean smiled against Sam’s skin. He took Sam’s wrists and started slowly raising them to pin above his head. Sam closed his eyes, losing himself in Dean’s gentle ministrations.

“Come on,” Dean cooed in his ear. “When was the first time you noticed I was so sexy? You’ve never told me.”

Sam’s breaths hitched in time with Dean’s gyrations.

Dean continued, “You can admit it. I won't judge. When did you start wanting this hot piece of ass?”

“Blue Point,” Sam moaned. “After our hunt at Blue Point.” Sam writhed against Dean. “Wanted you so damn much.”

Dean paused his movements.

Sam made a noise of protest and tried to raise his hips up to his older brother’s.

“Blue Point?”

Sam froze. His eyes shot wide open to meet Dean’s concerned expression. Sam realized what he’d just said. Sam opened his mouth to speak, to correct his words, but ended up closing it. The mistake was already out in the open. 

“But we’d already been…” Dean trailed off, smile fading.

In a relationship. Sam and Dean had started their more-than-brotherly-love relationship well over a year before Blue Point. They’d been having sex since long before Blue Point.

The heat in Sam's abdomen started to turn to ice. “I mean, you know, that’s when I…I…”

“Sam,” Dean searched his little brother’s face. With a gasp he shot backwards and was off the bed in a heartbeat.

“You…you…Before, when we were…?”

“Dean, slow down.”

“We had sex, Sam!”

Sam sat up, but didn’t know what to do next. "Yes, we did."

“We had sex, lots and lots of times! And you didn’t even want it? For a year?” Dean doubled over, hands on his knees as he started to hyperventilate.

“Woah, Dean hey,” Sam stood and walked over to place a soothing hand on his brother’s back. “Hey, man, it's okay.”

“It’s okay? It’s not okay! I made you…what did I...what did I do to make you…if you didn’t…why? Why would you want to do that? What made you think…?”

“Dean, it’s really okay man. I was okay with it. I wanted it.”

“But you just said-”

“I wanted it ‘cause I knew you wanted it.” Dean’s eyes pleaded with Sam to take it back, but Sam couldn’t lie anymore. It wasn’t fair to either of them. “I wasn’t lying. I do want you Dean, ever since Blue Point. Hell, I can’t get enough of you." Sam didn't add how sexy he thought Dean was. His brother didn't need to add more to his ego. "I knew how you felt about me," Sam continued. "figured it out actually, and I was onboard, I wanted it too, to be that for you. You’re my brother, I’d do anything for you, like you’d do for me. It just took me some time to develop those feelings too. I’m sorry I couldn’t do it faster, but I’m fine with this Dean. With us. I always have been.”

Sam’s words didn’t seem to bring Dean any comfort. On the contrary, Dean stumbled away from Sam and snatched up his fallen towel to cover himself.

“I can’t…I can’t believe…” Dean slowed his erratic breathing. “I’d do anything for you too Sam. At least that’s what I thought I was doing.”

Sam took a step forward, but Dean raised his hand to stop him.

“I thought that’s what you wanted.” Dean’s gaze was averted, eyes wide like a frightened animal. He glanced at his brother.

Sam didn’t understand.

Dean huffed. “Me. When I was hurt and you kissed me, I thought…I thought you…”

A sunken feeling enveloped Sam’s heart in anticipation of his brother’s next words.

“I just wanted to be there for you.”

And suddenly Sam knew why his brother was on the verge of tears. And suddenly he couldn’t breathe.

The last thing Sam could see was Dean reaching out before his consciousness faded and gave way to the peaceful darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :) I love Spring Break. So much free time to write!
> 
> Thoughts?


End file.
